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ESL 295: It Was an Old, Worthless Clock


ESL 295: It Was an Old, Worthless Clock


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It was an old clock, but it still told the correct time. The face had a faded picture of Andy's parents taken when they were newlyweds. Aside from some photos, the clock was the only memento Andy had of his mom and dad.

His father died of cancer in 1964. Then his mom moved to a private nursing home. She had many friends there. The nursing home, however, went bankrupt. They moved her into a state nursing home. She hated it there.

She asked Andy to help her move into a private nursing home again. She had spent most of her husband's savings on living expenses at the first nursing home. Andy said he would try.

But Andy had no savings. He was a sergeant in the Army, and all his money went to his wife and three kids. He called his older brother Frank, who was single and had a great job. Frank was an avid deep-sea fisherman and was interested in buying a large boat for weekend use.

"Frank, I don't have the money now, but you do," Andy pleaded. "Just pay for Mom and I'll owe you for half of the nursing home costs."

"You'll owe me? You don't have two nickels to rub together, and probably never will. I'll get stuck for the whole bill. What about my boat?"

"What boat?"

"Never mind. Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you."

Frank never did send his mom the money to move into a private nursing home. Alone and unhappy, she died in the state nursing home only a year later. Andy never forgave his brother.

Many years went by. Frank's health declined. He called up Andy one day. "Andy, I feel really bad about not helping out Mom. I was too interested in getting that boat. The older I've gotten, the more guilt I feel. My days are numbered, Andy. I was wondering if you would send me that clock, just for a little while. I want to beg Mom to forgive me."

Andy was very reluctant to part with his clock, but he did feel a little sorry for Frank.

Frank died ten months later. One of Frank's nieces, Flo, was the executor of his estate. Flo had hired a lawyer to help her Uncle Frank rewrite his will in his dying days. Strangely enough, Flo got everything.

She made sure Uncle Frank was buried a day after his death. No announcement was made about his funeral, which Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service, Flo was the only mourner. Flo sold Uncle Frank's house, car, and boat within the week. Everything of lesser value went to a charity. His cash and stocks, of course, were already safely in her name.

When Andy discovered that his brother had died, he called Flo to ask about his clock. "Oh," she said, "that went to charity with everything else. You didn't really want that old thing, did you, Uncle Andy? Uncle Andy? Hello?" Well, that was rude, she thought.

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*Vocabulary:

• announcement:
• aside:
• avid:
• bankrupt:
• charity:
• decline:
• estate:
• executor:
• fade:
• forgive:
• funeral:
• guilt:
• lawyer:
• memento:
• mourner:
• newlyweds:
• nickel:
• niece:
• owe:
• plead:
• reluctant:
• rub:
• sergeant:
• part with:

--------------------

*Wh-Questions:

• What did the clock still tell?

• What was on the clock's face?

• What was it a picture of?

• When was the picture taken?

• When did Andy's father die?

• What did he die of?

• Where did his mom move?

• Who were at his mom's nursing home?

• What happened to the nursing home?

• Where did they move his mom?

-------------------

*Fill in blanks:

It was an old clock, but it still ____ the correct time. The face had a faded ____ of Andy’s parents taken when they were newlyweds. ____ from some photos, the clock was the only ____ Andy had of his mom and dad.

His ____ died of cancer in 1964. Then his mom ____ to a private nursing home. She had many ____ there. The nursing home, however, went bankrupt. They her into a state nursing home. She hated ____ there.

She asked Andy to help her move ____ a private nursing home again. She had spent ____ of her husband’s savings on living expenses at ____ first nursing home. Andy said he would try.

____ Andy had no savings. He was a sergeant ____ the Army, and all his money went to ____ wife and three kids. He called his older ____ Frank, who was single and had a great ____ . Frank was an avid deep-sea fisherman and was ____ in buying a large boat for weekend use.

“____ , I don’t have the money now, but you ____ ,” Andy pleaded. “Just pay for Mom and I’ll ____ you for half of the nursing home costs.”

“____ ’ll owe me? You don’t have two nickels to ____ together, and probably never will. I’ll get stuck ____ the whole bill. What about my boat?”

“What ____ ?”

“Never mind. Let me think about it, and ____ 'll get back to you.”

Frank never did send ____ mom the money to move into a private ____ home. Alone and unhappy, she died in the ____ nursing home only a year later. Andy never ____ his brother.

Many years went by. Frank’s health ____ . He called up Andy one day. “Andy, I ____ really bad about not helping out Mom. I too interested in getting that boat. The older____ ’ve gotten, the more guilt I feel. My days____ numbered, Andy. I was wondering if you would ____ me that clock, just for a little while. ____ want to beg Mom to forgive me.”

Andy ____ very reluctant to part with his clock, but ____ did feel a little sorry for Frank.

Frank ____ ten months later. One of Frank’s nieces, Flo, ____ the executor of his estate. Flo had hired ____ lawyer to help her Uncle Frank rewrite his ____ in his dying days. Strangely enough, Flo got ____ .

She made sure Uncle Frank was buried a ____ after his death. No announcement was made about ____ funeral, which Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service, ____ was the only mourner. Flo sold Uncle Frank’s ____ , car, and boat within the week. Everything of ____ value went to a charity. His cash and ____ , of course, were already safely in her name.

____ Andy discovered that his brother had died, he ____ Flo to ask about his clock. “Oh,” she ____ , “that went to charity with everything else. You ____ ’t really want that old thing, did you, Uncle ____ ? Uncle Andy? Hello?” Well, that was rude, she ____ .

-------------------

*Translate into Vietnamese:

..........

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ESL 295: It Was an Old, Worthless Clock

*Vocabulary:


• announcement: tuyên bố
• aside: sang một bên
• avid: khao khát, khát vọng
• bankrupt: phá sản
• charity: từ thiện
• decline: từ chối
• estate: bất động sản
• executor: thi hành
• fade: phai
• forgive: tha thứ
• funeral: đám tang
• guilt: cảm giác tội lỗi
• lawyer: luật sư
• memento: mặc niệm
• mourner: người ưu sầu
• newlyweds: chồng mới cưới
• nickel: Ni ken
• niece: cháu
• owe: nợ
• plead: bào chữa
• reluctant: miễn cưỡng
• rub: thoa
• sergeant: trung sĩ
• part with: một phần với

===========================================================

*Wh-Questions:

• What did the clock still tell? correct time

• What was on the clock's face? faded picture of Andy's parents

• What was it a picture of? Andy's parents

• When was the picture taken? newlyweds

• When did Andy's father die? 1964

• What did he die of? cancer

• Where did his mom move? private nursing home

• Who were at his mom's nursing home? many friends

• What happened to the nursing home? bankrupt

• Where did they move his mom? state nursing home

===========================================================

*Fill in blanks:

It was an old clock, but it still __told__ the correct time. The face had a faded __picture__ of Andy’s parents taken when they were newlyweds. __Aside__ from some photos, the clock was the only __memento__ Andy had of his mom and dad.

His __father__ died of cancer in 1964. Then his mom __moved__ to a private nursing home. She had many __friends__ there. The nursing home, however, went bankrupt. They her into a state nursing home. She hated __it__ there.

She asked Andy to help her move _into___ a private nursing home again. She had spent _most___ of her husband’s savings on living expenses at _the___ first nursing home. Andy said he would try.

__But__ Andy had no savings. He was a sergeant __in__ the Army, and all his money went to __his__ wife and three kids. He called his older ____brother__ Frank, who was single and had a great __job__ . Frank was an avid deep-sea fisherman and was ____interested__ in buying a large boat for weekend use.

“__Frank__ , I don’t have the money now, but you __do__ ,” Andy pleaded. “Just pay for Mom and I’ll __owe__ you for half of the nursing home costs.”

“__You__ ’ll owe me? You don’t have two nickels to __rub__ together, and probably never will. I’ll get stuck _for___ the whole bill. What about my boat?”

“What __boat__ ?”

“Never mind. Let me think about it, and __I__ 'll get back to you.”

Frank never did send __his__ mom the money to move into a private ____nursing__ home. Alone and unhappy, she died in the ____state__ nursing home only a year later. Andy never ____forgave__ his brother.

Many years went by. Frank’s health ____declined__ . He called up Andy one day. “Andy, I _feel___ really bad about not helping out Mom. I too interested in getting that boat. The older__I__ ’ve gotten, the more guilt I feel. My days__are__ numbered, Andy. I was wondering if you would __send__ me that clock, just for a little while. __I__ want to beg Mom to forgive me.”

Andy __was__ very reluctant to part with his clock, but __he__ did feel a little sorry for Frank.

Frank __died__ ten months later. One of Frank’s nieces, Flo, __was__ the executor of his estate. Flo had hired __a__ lawyer to help her Uncle Frank rewrite his __will__ in his dying days. Strangely enough, Flo got __everything___ .

She made sure Uncle Frank was buried a __day__ after his death. No announcement was made about __his__ funeral, which Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service, __Flo__ was the only mourner. Flo sold Uncle Frank’s _house___ , car, and boat within the week. Everything of ____lesser__ value went to a charity. His cash and ____stocks__ , of course, were already safely in her name.

__When__ Andy discovered that his brother had died, he ____called__ Flo to ask about his clock. “Oh,” she __said__ , “that went to charity with everything else. You ______diddn_ ’t really want that old thing, did you, Uncle __Andy__ ? Uncle Andy? Hello?” Well, that was rude, she ____thought__ .

===========================================================

Translate into Vietnamese:

Đó là một cái đồng hồ cũ, không có giá trị

Đó là một cái đồng hồ cũ, nhưng vẫn chạy đúng giờ. Trước mặt có một tấm hình của cha mẹ Andy lúc mới cưới. Cạnh vài bức hình, cái đồng hồ là vật tưởng nhớ duy nhất mà Andy có về cha mẹ.

Cha của Andy chết vì ung thư năm 1964. Rồi mẹ của anh vào nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân. Bà có nhiều bạn bè ở đó. Nhà dưỡng lão, tuy nhiên về sau lại bị phá sản. Họ chuyển và vào nhà dưỡng lão của bang. Bà ghét nơi đó.

Bà đã nhờ Andy giúp bà vào nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân lại. Bà đã dùng hết tiền để dành của chồng khi sống ở nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân. Andy nói anh sẽ cố thử.

Nhưng Andy không có tiền để dành. Anh là trung sĩ trong quân đội, và toàn bộ tiền của anh đưa hết cho vợ và ba con. Anh gọi anh trai Frank, người sống độc thân và có công việc tốt. Frank là một người đánh cá xa bờ và thích mua một cái thuyền lớn để dùng vào cuối tuần.

"Frank, em không có tiền bây giờ, nhưng anh có," Andy nài nỉ. "Chỉ cần trả cho Mẹ và em nợ anh phân nửa số tiền cho nhà dưỡng lão."

"Em nợ anh? Em nghèo không một xu dính túi, và có thể chẳng bao giờ có. Anh sẽ mắc kẹt với nguyên cả hoá đơn. Còn thuyền của anh thì sao?"

"Thuyền nào?"

"Thôi đừng bận tâm. Để anh nghĩ, rồi anh sẽ cho em biết quyết định của anh sau."

Frank chẳng bao giờ gửi mẹ tiền để chuyển mẹ đi nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân. Cô đơn và không hạnh phúc, bà chết trong nhà dưỡng lão công một năm sau đó. Andy không bao giờ tha thứ cho anh trai mình.

Nhiều năm trôi qua. Sức khoẻ Frank yếu đi. Ông gọi cho Andy một ngày kia. "Andy, anh rất thấy tệ vì đã không giúp Mẹ. Anh quá quan tâm đến việc mua tàu. Càng lớn tuổi, anh càng cảm thấy có lỗi. Cuộc sống của anh đang đếm từng ngày, Andy. Anh tự hỏi không biết em có thể gửi cho anh cái đồng hồ, chỉ một lúc. Anh muốn xin Mẹ tha thứ cho anh."

Andy rất miễn cưỡng phải xa cái đồng hồ của mình, nhưng ông thấy tội cho Frank.

Frank chết mười tháng sau. MỘt trong những người cháu của Frank, Flo, là người điều hành bất động sản của ông. Flo đã thuê luật sư để giúp bác Frank viết lại di chúc trong những ngày gần chết. Lạ là, Flo thừa hưởng mọi thứ.

Cô đem chôn bác Frank một ngày sau khi mất. Không có thông báo gì về đám tang, Flo giữ kín-tại tang lễ (ngắn gọn/vỏn vẹn) chỉ 20 phút, Flo là người đưa tiễn duy nhất. Flo bán nhà, xe và thuyền của bác Frank trong vòng một tuần. Những thứ ít giá trị thì cho từ thiện. Tiền mặt, cổ phiếu, dĩ nhiên, đã đứng tên cô.

Khi Andy phát hiện ra anh mình đã chết, ông gọi cho Flo để hỏi về cái đồng hồ. "Oh," cô nói, "cái đó đi cùng với những cái khác đến chổ từ thiện. Bác thật sự không muốn cái thứ cũ kỹ đó chứ, Bác Andy? Bác Andy? Hello?" Này, thật thô lỗ, cô nghĩ.

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@lanhuongbm,

Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service
Flo giữ riêng-chỉ 20 phút dịch vụ


Câu này dịch sai rồi lanhuong à. Bạn để ý từ AT không? 20 minute không có S, là tính từ bổ nghĩa cho service và private ở đây có nghĩa là tư nhân.

Deep-sea fisherman: người đánh cá ở biển xa/xa bờ.

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@ chị lanhuongbm thân mến:

Xin góp thêm một vài ý về bài ESL 295, nếu có gì không phải chị và anh nguoidochanh cho thêm ý kiến nhé :

1.
You don't have two nickels to rub together
Em còn không có hai đồng mười xu để chà với nhau,


You don't have two nickels to rub together = rất nghèo/nghèo không một đồng xu dính túi..

not have two pennies to rub together (British, American & Australian) also not have two nickels to rub together (American)
to be very poor She's been out of work for months and doesn't have two pennies to rub together.

See also: have, penny, rub, together, two
Cambridge Idioms Dictionary, 2nd ed. Copyright © Cambridge University Press 2006.


2.
Để anh nghĩ, rồi anh sẽ quay lại với em."
Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you."


I'll get back to you = tôi/anh sẽ cho biết quyết định của tôi/anh sau.

I'll get back to you (on that). and Let me get back to you (on that).
I will report back later with my decision. (More likely said by a boss to an employee than vice versa.) Bob: I have a question about the Wilson project. Mary: I have to go to a meeting now. I'll get back to you on that. Bob: It's sort of urgent. Mary: It can wait. Sue: Shall I close the Wilson account? Jane: Let me get back to you on that.
See also: back, get
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
American Heritage Dictionary:


3.
Many years went by.Frank's health declined.
Nhiều năm sau đó. Sức khoẻ Frank yếu đi.

Many years went by = nhiều năm trôi qua. ( câu dịch tiếng Việt không có động từ)

4.
You didn't really want that old thing, did you, Uncle Andy?
Ông thật sự không muốn cái thứ cũ kỹ đó chứ, Bác Andy?

Ông = you = uncle Andy = Bác Andy : không thống nhất đại từ.

5.
No announcement was made about his funeral, which Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service, Flo was the only mourner.
Không có thông báo gì về đám tang, Flo giữ riêng-chỉ 20 phút dịch vụ, Flo là người đưa tiễn duy nhất


Xin góp ý dịch là:

Không có thông báo gì về đám tang, điều đó Flo giữ kín-tại tang lễ ( ngắn gọn/vỏn vẹn) chỉ 20 phút, Flo là người tiễn đưa duy nhất.

Thân ái.

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@chanhhetbiet

Đúng là nhiều khi tôi xem bài của lanhuongbm loáng thoáng, không thấy lỗi còn sót của bạn ấy nhiều quá.

Riêng về câu cuối cùng, ndh còn do dự là vì dấu gạch nối giữa từ PRIVATE và AT. Thêm nữa, ndh thấy ở Mỹ họ cũng hay quảng cáo dịch vụ 20 phút với hàm ý là phục vụ nhanh chóng gọn lẹ nên ndh nghĩ rằng đám tang này được cô gái Flo giao cho công ty dịch vụ lo việc hậu sự mà được quảng cáo là làm nhanh gọn, đơn giản. Có gì bạn chanhetbiet góp ý giùm thêm nhe.

@lanhuongbm

Bạn rút kinh nghiệm, khi dịch những cụm từ đọc thấy hơi kỳ kỳ thì stop ngay để xem lại nó có phải là Idiom không nhé. Ví dụ như two nickels to rub together hay Five-finger discount.

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Dạ, cám ơn anh nguoidochanh và chanhhetbiet. Lanhuongbm đã sửa lại.

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LESSON 295:

IT WAS AN OLD, WORTHLESS CLOCK -
ĐÓ LÀ MỘT CÁI ĐỒNG HỒ CŨ KỸ, VÔ GIÁ TRỊ.

===========================================================

*Vocabulary:

------------------------------------------------------------------
• announcement: cáo thị, thông cáo.
• aside: ngoài ra, trừ ra, về một bên, sang một bên.
• avid: khao khát, háo hức, thèm thuồng.
• bankrupt: phá sản, vỡ nợ.
• charity: họi từ thiện, tổ chức cứu tế.
• decline: suy sụp, tàn tạ.
• estate: di sản, tiền bạc-của cải của người chết để lại.
• executor: người thi hành di chúc.
• fade: tàn phai, nhạt phai, bạc màu.
• forgive: tha thứ.
• funeral: lễ tang.
• guilt: sự biết lỗi, điều sai trái.
• lawyer: luật sư.
• memento: vật kỷ niệm.
• mourner: người đi đưa đám tang.
• newlyweds: vừa mới lập gia đình.
• nickel: 5 đô-la.
• niece: cháu gái.
• owe: nợ.
• plead: nài xin, van xin.
• reluctant: miễn cưỡng, bất đắc dĩ.
• rub: cọ , chà sát.
• sergeant: trung sĩ.
• part with: bỏ không làm, thôi không làm, từ bỏ.

===========================================================

*Wh-Questions:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
• What did the clock still tell?
-the clock still told the correct time.

• What was on the clock's face?
- A faded picture of Andy's parents was on the clock's face.

• What was it a picture of?
- It was a picture of Andy's parents.

• When was the picture taken?
- The picture was taken when Andy's parents were newlyweds.

• When did Andy's father die?
- Andy's father died in 1964.

• What did he die of?
- He died of cancer.

• Where did his mom move?
- His mom moved to a private nursing home.

• Who were at his mom's nursing home?
-
• What happened to the nursing home?
- The nursing home went bankrupt.

• Where did they move his mom?
- They moved his mom into a state nursing home.

===========================================================

*Fill in blanks:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
It was an old clock, but it still told the correct time. The face had a faded picture of Andy’s parents taken when they were newlyweds. Aside from some photos, the clock was the only momento Andy had of his mom and dad.

His father died of cancer in 1964. Then his mom moved to a private nursing home. She had many friends there. The nursing home, however, went bankrupt. They her into a state nursing home. She hated it there.

She asked Andy to help her move into a private nursing home again. She had spent most of her husband’s savings on living expenses at the first nursing home. Andy said he would try.

But Andy had no savings. He was a sergeant in the Army, and all his money went to his wife and three kids. He called his older brother Frank, who was single and had a great job. Frank was an avid deep-sea fisherman and was interested in buying a large boat for weekend use.

Frank, I don’t have the money now, but you do,” Andy pleaded. “Just pay for Mom and I’ll ơe you for half of the nursing home costs.”

You’ll owe me? You don’t have two nickels to rub together, and probably never will. I’ll get stuck for the whole bill. What about my boat?”

“What boat ?”

“Never mind. Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you.”

Frank never did send his mom the money to move into a private nursing home. Alone and unhappy, she died in the state nursing home only a year later. Andy never forgave his brother.

Many years went by. Frank’s health declined. He called up Andy one day. “Andy, I feel really bad about not helping out Mom. I wastoo interested in getting that boat. The older I ’ve gotten, the more guilt I feel. My days are numbered, Andy. I was wondering if you would send me that clock, just for a little while. I want to beg Mom to forgive me.”

Andy was very reluctant to part with his clock, but he did feel a little sorry for Frank.

Frank died ten months later. One of Frank’s nieces, Flo, was the executor of his estate. Flo had hired a lawyer to help her Uncle Frank rewrite his will in his dying days. Strangely enough, Flo got everything.

She made sure Uncle Frank was buried a day after his death. No announcement was made about his funeral, which Flo kept private—at the 20-minute service, Flo was the only mourner. Flo sold Uncle Frank’s house, car, and boat within the week. Everything of lesser value went to a charity. His cash and stocks, of course, were already safely in her name.

When Andy discovered that his brother had died, he called Flo to ask about his clock. “Oh,” she said, “that went to charity with everything else. You don't ’t really want that old thing, did you, Uncle Andy ? Uncle Andy? Hello?” Well, that was rude, she though.

===========================================================

*Translate into Vietnamese:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Đó là một cái đồng hồ cũ kỹ, nhưng nó vẫn cho biết thời gian chính xác. Trên mặt đồng hồ có một bức hình đã phai màu của ba mẹ Andy chụp lúc hai người mới lập gia đình. Ngoài một vài tấm hình, cái đồng hồ là kỷ vật duy nhất mà anh có được từ ba và mẹ mình.

Ba anh mất vì bệnh ung thư vào năm 1964. Tiếp đó mẹ anh chuyển vào một nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân. Bà có rất nhiều bạn bè ở đó. Tuy nhiên, nhà dưỡng lão, bị phá sản. Người ta chuyển bà vào nhà dưỡng lão của tiểu bang. Bà ghét ở đó lắm.

Bà nhờ Andy giúp bà chuyển vào nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân lần nữa. Bà đã chi dùng phần lớn tiền tiết kiệm của chồng mình cho chi phí tại nhà dưỡng lão đầu tiên. Andy nói anh sẽ cố gắng.

Nhưng Andy không có tiền tiết kiệm. Anh là một trung sĩ trong quân đội, và tất cả tiền bạc của anh đều thuộc về vợ và ba đứa con. Anh gọi điện cho anh mình, Frank, còn độc thân và có một công việc tuyệt vời. Frank là một ngư dân đánh cá xa bờ, quan tâm và khao khát mua được một chiếc thuyền lớn để dùng vào dịp cuối tuần.

"Frank, bây giờ em không có tiền, nhưng anh thì có," Andy nài xin. "Anh hãy chi cho Mẹ và em sẽ nợ anh một nữa chi phí cho nhà dưỡng lão."

"Mày nợ tao sao? Mày không có lấy một đồng xu dính túi, và chắc chắn sẽ không bao giờ có. Tao rồi sẽ ôm sô toàn bộ hoá đơn thôi. Còn chiếc thuyền của tao thì sao?"

"Chiếc thuyền nào chứ?"

"Đừng quan tâm. Để tao suy nghĩ thêm về chuyện đó, và tao sẽ trả lời cho mày."

Frank không bao giờ đưa tiền cho mẹ để chuyển vào nhà dưỡng lão tư nhân. Cô đơn và buồn khổ, bà qua đời trong nhà dưỡng lão của tiểu bang chỉ một năm sau đó. Andy không bao giờ tha thứ cho anh mình.

Nhiều năm trôi qua. Sức khoẻ của Frank đã suy sụp. Một ngày nọ anh ta gọi cho Andy. "Andy, anh cảm thấy mình rất tệ bạc khi không giúp đỡ cho Mẹ. Anh đã quá quan tâm đến việc mua chiếc thuyền. Càng già đi, anh cảm thấy tội của anh càng nặng thêm. Anh sắp chết rồi, Andy. Anh muốn biết em có thể gởi cái đồng hồ cho anh không, chỉ trong một thời gian ngắn thôi. Anh muốn cầu xin Mẹ tha thứ cho anh."

Andy rất miễn cưỡng khi từ bỏ chiếc đồng hồ của mình, nhưng anh cảm thấy một chút tội nghiệp cho Frank.

Frank mất mười tháng sau đó. Một trong những đứa cháu gái của Frank, Flo, là người thực hiện di chúc của Frank. Flo đã thuê một luật sư để giúp Bác Frank của cô viết lại di chúc trong những ngày ông nằm chờ chết. Lạ một điều là, Flo đã nhận được mọi thứ.

Cô bảo đảm bác Frank được chôn cất một ngày sau khi ông chết. Không một thông cáo nào về lễ tang được lập, điều mà Flo giữ kín-trong một tang lễ ngắn gọn chỉ 20 phút-Flo là người đưa tang duy nhất. Flo bán căn nhà, chiếc xe, và chiếc thuyền của bác Frank trong vòng một tuần. Những thứ ít giá trị hơn được đưa cho hội từ thiện. Tiền mặt và cổ phiếu, tất nhiên, đều an toàn dưới tên cô.

Khi Andy phát hiện ra anh mình đã chết, anh gọi cho Flo để hỏi về cái đồng hồ. "Ồ," cô nói, "cái đó đã cho hội từ thiện cùng với các thứ khác rồi. Chú thật sự không thích những vật cũ kỹ, phải không, Chú Andy? Chú Andy sao? Hừm, thật là bất lịch sự, cô ta nghĩ.

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. 1.New To America
. 2.A Haircut
. 3.The Yardman
. 4.Grab Your Umbrellas
. 5.Shopping for Bargains
. 6.Horses to Ride
. 7.A Shower Injury
. 8.Pete's Sharp Knife
. 9.A Good Sandwich
. 10.Sara's Upset Stomach
. 11.Please Marry Me!
. 12.Laundry Day
. 13.A Noisy Neighbor
. 14.The New Realtor
. 15.The Fire Alarm
. 16.Eddie's Short Visit
. 17.Carbon Monoxide
. 18.A Visit to Asia
. 19.School Boys
. 20.The Loose Button
. 21.The Pile of Paper
. 22.Brushing and Flossing
. 23.Raising the Kids
. 24.A Clean Toilet Bowl
. 25.A Love Letter
. 26.A Bird Attacks
. 27.A Daytime Robbery
. 28.Trick or Treat
. 29.The Motorcycle Rider
. 30.Spock Saves His Dad
. 31.Provider Overbills Customer
. 32.The Breakup
. 33.Famous Model Dies
. 34.Shopping Carts Everywhere
. 35.Four Slit Throats
. 36.Does Garlic Mean Garlic?
. 37.A Jealous Girlfriend
. 38.Towns Hit by Snowstorms
. 39.Another Jealous Girlfriend
. 40.She Loves Her Son
. 41.The Doctor’s Exam
. 42.Hospitals Can Make You Sick
. 43.English Is So Hard
. 44.Hollywood Stars and Tourists
. 45.GEICO’s TV Lizard
. 46.Law and Order in LA
. 47.Destruction of Iraq
. 48.Have You Seen This Man?
. 49.LA Traffic Report
. 50.LA Radio News


. 51.Trash Truck Misses Pick-up
. 52.Her First Driving Accident
. 53.You’re Not a Good Principal
. 54.I’ve Got You Covered
. 55.Paris Goes to Jail in LA
. 56.A Year with No TV
. 57.Let’s Buy Some Paint
. 58.I Need Water for My Clients
. 59.Putting Bunny to Sleep
. 60.Where Is That Darn Battery?
. 61.If You Really Love Me…
. 62.The Wedding Gift (1)
. 63.The Wedding Gift (2)
. 64.Does a Tiger Change Its Stripes?
. 65.No Place Like an Open House
. 66."We Could Have All Died!"
. 67.It’s the Thought that Counts
. 68.Who Ordered the Scallops?
. 69.You’re Not My Daddy
. 70.Let He Who Is Without Sin…
. 71.Shopping at the 99 Cents Store
. 72.Betting Big in Vegas
. 73.Priced to Sell!
. 74.The Handyman Comes
. 75.A Woman Has Needs
. 76.A Hot Day and a Cool Pool
. 77.Up, Up, and Away
. 78.Man's Best Friend
. 79.Six Feet Under
. 80.An Unhappy Worker
. 81.Why the Sky Is Brown
. 82.It’s a Small World
. 83.Suspicious Shoppers
. 84.Death Is Part of Life
. 85.Tagger Shoots Woman
. 86.Crime on the Rise
. 87.Too Soft on Crime
. 88.Pluto Chases Kid
. 89.In Harm’s Way
. 90."Semper Buy"
. 91.A Little Respect, Please
. 92.A Dream from Beyond-1
. 93.A Dream from Beyond-2
. 94.A Trip to Egypt
. 95.No Doughnuts for Old Folks
. 96.It’s Just Business
. 97.A Walk in the Wild
. 98.Elvis Is Alive and Well
. 99.Bad Weed, Bad Call
. 100.Shark Attack


. 101.Love in the Hospital
. 102.Interstate Bridge Collapses
. 103.Stop Selling Those Bunnies
. 104.Actor Tries to Kill Himself
. 105.US Senator Says He’s not Gay
. 106.E.Coli Is Everywhere
. 107.Influenza
. 108.The Hospital Orderly-1
. 109.The Hospital Orderly-2
. 110.Flower Power
. 111.Dog Inherits Millions
. 112.Man Holds Staff Hostage
. 113.Young Boy Defends Sister
. 114.Remember Me?
. 115.The Way to a Man’s Heart
. 116.Sail Around the World
. 117.New Dog-Barking Law
. 118.Man Flies in Lawn Chair-1
. 119.Man Flies in Lawn Chair-2
. 120.Cleaning a Dirty Plate
. 121.Her Driving Lesson
. 122.Hurricane Dean
. 123.Adventurer Disappears
. 124.Nursing Student Disappears
. 125.The Lovely Banana
. 126.Smells like Chicken
. 127.The Wedding-1
. 128.The Wedding-2
. 129.The Waiter
. 130.Your Country Thanks You
. 131.D.B.Cooper Lives On-1
. 132.D.B.Cooper Lives On-2
. 133.I’m No Alcoholic!
. 134.48 Homes Burn Down-1
. 135.48 Homes Burn Down-2
. 136.Drought Attacks Georgia
. 137.A Bad MRI Experience
. 138.Body in a Barrel-1
. 139.Body in a Barrel-2
. 140.Red Meat, Gray Water
. 141.All Bite, No Bark
. 142.Tiger Kills Two Men-1
. 143.Tiger Kills Two Men-2
. 144.Red Flowers Make Her See Red
. 145.The Starbucks Robbery
. 146.The Argument-1
. 147.The Argument-2
. 148.The Toilet Tank-1
. 149.The Toilet Tank-2
. 150.Santa Was Molested




. 151.Fire Kills Two Young Girls
. 152.Police Arrest Fire-Starters
. 153.Get out of "Jail"-1
. 154.Get out of "Jail"-2
. 155.New Year Celebrations
. 156.$50K to Waitress-1
. 157.$50K to Waitress-2
. 158.Who Needs School?
. 159.Black Friday
. 160.JFK Assassination
. 161.Don’t Top Off the Tanks
. 162.The Clapper
. 163.Tuberculosis Still Kills
. 164.Old Dogs Become Young Again
. 165.Ham and Eggplant
. 166.A Hole in Her Ear-1
. 167.A Hole in Her Ear-2
. 168.The Drugs Keep Coming
. 169.Missing Husband-1
. 170.Missing Husband-2
. 171.Don’t Get Mad-Get Even
. 172.The Christmas Gift-1
. 173.The Christmas Gift-2
. 174.The Haircut-1
. 175.The Haircut-2
. 176.The Robbery at the Mall-1
. 177.The Robbery at the Mall-2
. 178.The Driving Lesson-1
. 179.The Driving Lesson-2
. 180.The Move to Georgia-1
. 181.The Move to Georgia-2
. 182.I’ll Get a Job in a Restaurant
. 183.A Cleaner River-1
. 184.A Cleaner River-2
. 185.The Spitter
. 186.Kill Those Flies-1
. 187.Kill Those Flies-2
. 188.The Oil Change-1
. 189.The Oil Change-2
. 190.Boy Starts Huge Fire
. 191.Writers Go on Strike
. 192.Please Don’t Hurt Me!
. 193.It’s Just a Little White Lie
. 194.Jury Service in California
. 195.The Rude Golfer-1
. 196.The Rude Golfer-2
. 197.Man Invents Toilet for Cars
. 198.Monkeys Cause Man’s Death
. 199.The Light Eater-1
. 200.The Light Eater-2


. 201.Sara Went Shopping
. 202.Man Injured at Fast Food Place
. 203.A Life-Saving Cow
. 204.Driver Loses Mabel, Finds Jail
. 205.Jerry Decided To Buy a Gun
. 206.Freeway Chase
. 207.Better To Be Unlucky
. 208.Food Fight Erupted in Prison
. 209.How His Pig is Doing
. 210.Goats Being Hired
. 211.A Missing Cat
. 212.Book Him
. 213.Water Under the Sink-1
. 214.Water Under the Sink-2
. 215.Theft Occurs Everywhere
. 216.Eggs and a Bunny
. 217.Goodbye to Clean Couple
. 218.$100 Deposit
. 219.Books Don’t Grow on Trees
. 220.A Murder-Suicide
. 221.New Store and Its Owners
. 222.Hit-and-Run Charge
. 223.Gasoline Prices Hit Record High
. 224.A Festival of Books
. 225.Crazy Housing Prices
. 226.Happy and Unhappy Renters
. 227.Pulling Out Nine Tons of Trash
. 228.Cloning Pets
. 229.Rentals at the Oceanside
. 230.Trees Are a Threat
. 231.Gets Booked, Writes a Book
. 232.Popular Park Reopens
. 233.Swim Classes Begin Soon
. 234.Not Sitting Around
. 235.Get Millions for Homeless
. 236.Tenants Watch Building Burn
. 237.Bathtub Blues
. 238.Blood Drive at Civic Center
. 239.City Hosts 42nd Art Fair
. 240.City and Crime
. 241.Bank Robbery
. 242.Immigration Goes Online
. 243.Jimmy Fixes His Door
. 244.Needs a New Air-Conditioner
. 245.Man Gets 12 Years for Fraud
. 246.Man Shoots Up Post Office
. 247.Murals Are Over 200 Years Old
. 248.Pier Collapses
. 249.Cameras in Police Cars
. 250.A School Girl Sues Her School


. 251.SUV Driver Sends Officer Flying
. 252.Boy Drowns in Neighbor's Pool
. 253.Woman Dies in House Fire
. 254.Plane Crashes into House
. 255.Fishing for Girls
. 256.Shot Next to Christmas Tree
. 257.Stabbed Outside Nightclub
. 258.Fishing Boat Sinks
. 259.The Mysterious Carport Stain
. 260.Lies About Winning Lottery
. 261.Victory Dance Leads to Death
. 262.Eat Your Vegetables
. 263.Honk if You're in a Hurry
. 264.The Man Who Loved Women
. 265.How to Get out of Jury Duty
. 266.The Way to a Man’s Heart
. 267.Female Seeks Mature Male
. 268.Let’s Go Fishing
. 269.Train Wreck “Frees” Cows
. 270.Valuable Guitar Found
. 271.Stepmother Kills Herself
. 272.Beautiful Teacher Smiles
. 273.Are Criminals Taking Over LA?
. 274.Police Arrest Happy Van Driver
. 275.Say Your Prayers
. 276.The Final Phone Call
. 277.Almost Perfect Children
. 278.There Goes the Neighborhood!
. 279.Let’s Go to Vegas!
. 280.Squirrel Attacks Woman
. 281.To Save His Baby
. 282.English Is Confusing
. 283.Pump Up the Tires
. 284.Don’t Go Swimming
. 285.The Park That Went to the Dogs
. 286.Can You Spare a Carburetor?
. 287.Golf Like a Girl
. 288.Take Me Out to the Ball Game
. 289.Take This Job and Shove It
. 290.Where Did That Book Go?
. 291.When You’ve Got Your Health
. 292.That ‘New Car’ Smell
. 293.Inviting Poor Student to Dinner
. 294.When I'm in the Bathroom
. 295.It Was an Old, Worthless Clock
. 296.Five-Finger Discount on Candy
. 297.Collecting Seashells
. 298.At the Store Entrance
. 299.We Will See the World
. 300.Get Me a Caffe Latte




. 301.The Slow Computer-1
. 302.The Slow Computer-2
. 303.The Careful Reader
. 304.Avoid the Flu
. 305.Magician Attracts Women
. 306.US Border Patrol
. 307.Car Shopping in California
. 308.Happy Anniversary
. 309.“Read All about It!”
. 310.A Factory Worker
. 311.Bad Pork
. 312.Don’t Eat the Meat
. 313.Copper Robbers
. 314.Weekly Driving Lessons-1
. 315.Weekly Driving Lessons-2
. 316.Laundry Day-1
. 317.Laundry Day-2
. 318.The Bargain CD Set-1
. 319.The Bargain CD Set-2
. 320.It’s All Over
. 321.The New Clothes-1
. 322.The New Clothes-2
. 323.Food as Punishment
. 324.US Passports Outsourced
. 325.The Demanding Son
. 326.A Practical Joke
. 327.The Dead Pedestrian
. 328.Bad News, Good News
. 329.The Cluster Balloonist
. 330.The Rude Clerk
. 331.The Tax Charge
. 332.The Fire in the Hills-1
. 333.The Fire in the Hills-2
. 334.The Vacuum Cleaner Filter-1
. 335.The Vacuum Cleaner Filter-2
. 336.The Rental Car-1
. 337.The Rental Car-2
. 338.The Marathon Cheater
. 339.School Bus Crashes
. 340.Don’t Take My Property
. 341.New Law for Taco Trucks
. 342.The Refund-1
. 343.The Refund-2
. 344.Shut Your Mouth
. 345.TSA’s New Policy-1
. 346.TSA’s New Policy-2
. 347.I’m Pregnant
. 348.Court Approves Same-Sex Marriage
. 349.Impolite to His Brother
. 350.Protecting the Public
. 351.Malibu to License Paparazzi
. 352.I'm Moving to NY
. 353.The Heart Attack-1
. 354.The Heart Attack-2
. 355.Let's Speak English

THE END






Update: October 16th, 2016.
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Update: July 23rd, 2019.